McDonalds reinvents Hamburglar as a hot dad so people will buy Maccas again

It’s a rough time for McDonalds. Despite putting in the hard yards to offer healthy options as consumers trend towards, uh, not wanting to be obese, they haven’t been able to escape their image as an unnecessary indulgence. Sales have steadily slid, but this year, McDonalds is making a big push to get back on top. Which includes making the Hamburglar a hot dad.

McDonald’s told Mashable that in the past 13 years since we’ve seen Hamburglar, he moved to the burbs, settled down, pumped out some kids, and really chilled out. But according to a short promo McDonald’s tweeted, all it took for him to return to his life as a career criminal was hearing a radio announcement that McDonald’s were bringing out a new limited edition burger. Dude! You need help! Talk to someone about this! If it’s so easy for your compulsion to be triggered, you need treatment.

It doesn’t help that he looks like if Tom Hardy auditioned for Fifty Shades. What is this look?

Check out more photos of the new Hamburglar below. But first: did you know his catchphrase is “Robble, robble”? And not “Gimme all ya fukken hamburgers ya ranga deadshit”? What is “robble, robble”?

Words by Jake Cleland