married at first sight tweets

Tonight’s Messy ‘Married At First Sight’ Retold Via The Best Tweets

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Today is a blessed day. As we approach tomorrow night’s Married at First Sight dinner party, we can feel great comfort in knowing that intimacy week is over. Dead. Done. Never to be spoken about again.

Between the eye gazing (which sounds like a torture technique) and the genital cupping (which is exactly how it sounds), intimacy week inspired some truly cursed moments that I worry will be seared into my memory forever. For the most part, the couples who were already connecting on a physical level — like Alana and Jason, along with Booka and Bree — only grew closer, while it made things even more awkward for the couples struggling with chemistry.

Then there’s the couple who are more off and on than a flashing disco light: Bryce and Melissa. After Bryce made cruel remarks about Melissa’s eye colour on last night’s episode, many of us expected for Melissa to be in a bad mood with Bryce tonight. But in a move straight out of the gaslighter’s playbook, it was Bryce who was angry with Melissa, because she *checks notes* made a sarcastic joke.

Bryce actually stormed out of their shared apartment, after she replied “clothes” when he asked her what she was going to wear that day. Seriously?! As a woman, I don’t know how many times a guy I was dating has replied with this exact remark and thought it was the height of comedy. Grow up, Bryce!

Anyways, after explaining the ridiculous reason he was upset, Melissa actually stood up for herself. She reminded him of all the harsh comments he’s made about her appearance that she copped without walking out, which were far more offensive than her little joke. In a move that I legit did not see coming, Bryce actually admitted he was in the wrong and apologised.

You know what they call that? Growth.

Tonight’s Married at First Sight retold via funny tweets:

It’s day two of intimacy week and surprise, surprise — things aren’t going well! We learn Bryce walked out on Melissa without explanation, and then he eventually told her that it was because she made a sarcastic remark, joking she was wearing “clothes” that day. Enraged that he would make such a big deal out of something so trivial, Melissa called Bryce out for his previous cruel comments towards her appearance. Thankfully, he showed remorse and apologised.

Coco and Sam try to start anew, they do an exercise session together in an effort to rebuild their friendship. Sam and Cameron go out to get a coffee, but it feels more like a job interview than a date. At the same time, Coco and Cameron are thinking about their connection.

Russell struggles opening up to Beth during the intimacy exercises. On the flip-side, Booka and Brett’s bond is stronger than ever.

Alana and Jason have nailed the sex part, however Alana worries that Jason doesn’t care about creating an emotional connection. Alessandra instructs the couple to cup each other’s genitals and somehow, the bizarre exercise draws them closer together.

James and Jo (two contestants still on this show?!) are no longer vibing, since Jo’s revelation at the commitment ceremony that she was only staying in the experiment “for now”. Meanwhile, Jake and Rebecca make small strides in building more physical chemistry.

Cameron invites Coco on their first official date. Sparks fly, but they decide to pump the brakes on their relationship while married to other people in the experiment.