I was an accidental toolie in Bali (and it didn’t suck)

I’ve travelled overseas for study and for larks, but until last month I had never been to Bali. I don’t know why it took me so long: it’s the closest destination to Australia which is markedly culturally different, it’s beautiful, and of course it’s super cheap (like the budgie). ‘Time to sort this lunacy’ I thought, as my mate and I booked tickets for late November. We didn’t spare a thought that we could be deep in Schoolies slops by the second week.

And yet we didn’t have a shit time. Do you know why? I will tell you why.

Indonesians are warm

Don’t take anything too seriously, because the locals you meet likely won’t. Got saturated by a flash storm? Hilarious. Sweaty in the pants? Stop and have a beer, you goof. Monkey chased after you? Ha ha ha, they don’t bite much (winky face). There’s such a camaraderie of spirit and care for one another that a smile is never far from your dial.

We had a trusted Indonesian driver…

Even if you have a tiny budget, you can afford to do this. Through friends, my travel bud secured a total prince of a Javanese driver named Harie. The first thing Harie did when he picked us up from the airport was loan us a prepaid Nokia hooked up to an Indonesian provider so we could text him whenever. That shitty little phone also helped us out myriad-fold when we had accommodation issues and needed to ring around, plus it was great to know we could make any kind of emergency call easily. We’d book Harie for a short trip or a full day (the best way to get a bunch of stuff seen in between your indolent Bintang pool days), and we knew beforehand exactly how much he’d charge. Ask around before you leave the homeland; it’s worth it.

…and then an Indonesian pal 🙂

Harie had a ton of ideas for places to go, based on what we wanted and what others had asked to see. As we got to know one another, our trips got more interesting. We saw suburbia, we went to a secret beach that you can only get to by creeping through wormhole caves, we met Harie’s dog and spoke about the rabies epidemic a few years ago, he told us about how hard it is to findLegends of the Fall with Indonesian subtitles, as well as his intimate experience of the Bali bombings. It was just all ‘round excellent to connect with this man.

We only did a drive-by of Kuta

We’d planned to steer mega clear of Kuta, because as you know, that’s where most of the Schoolies crap goes down. But then we were curious. Harie took us along the main strip and we got to observe that special spot and its tourism barnacles while we listened to Indonesian pop-rock on the stereo. It’s one place that you don’t necessarily want to physically wade through, but you do want to see. Because…

Other tourists are part of the thing

Seeing the way other people travel is huge brain fodder, and even if they’re not on the same party page as you, observing the way people interact is fascinating. I’ll never forget the unabashed photo poses of enthusiastic visitors to the Hindu temple in rocky, windswept Tanah Lot. One young Chinese woman had on a pink peplum dress, stiletto heels, and was holding a chiffon scarf theatrically in the salt spray behind her. Her photos were about ten thousand times cooler than ours. What an absolute legend.

Drugs aren’t worth it

Schapelle Corby, Leeza Ormsby, that 14-year-old boy in 2011. It’s not just about getting caught, either: you have no fucking idea what’s in anything, which is true of drugs you might buy in Australia as well. But if something goes wrong in Bali, you’re not going to have the tried and tested support systems in place which you’d have to hand if you got into trouble in Aus.

Neither are the $1 jugs

A bottle of Bintang beer costs somewhere between $1.90 and $2.40, depending where you buy it. Spirits and wine are more expensive (close to Australian prices) but not totally out there. You don’t need a buck jug of neon blue shit to get your kicks. Temporary blindness and other such freaky things happen when bars use locally produced rice wine, called arak, to cheaply make their drinks more potent. When it’s not distilled properly (as is entirely possible when it’s being made illegally), that’s when you get traces of toxic methanol hanging around. There have been many deaths of tourists and Indonesians alike who’ve imbibed arak, as illegal production became popular after the Indonesian government started heavily taxing imported alcohol. But you can still get it really cheap ($2.60 for a glass), made by certified distillers. Buy stuff that comes out of a sealed bottle and you’re in the clear.

Say ‘hello’ and say ‘no’

This kind of follows on from the Other Tourists point, but it’s good advice wherever you travel. You have a right to take up space, and you have a right to decide to engage with others or not. Being an Australian in Bali comes with lots of preconceived notions (not unlike my own prejudices of Kuta), but you get to make up your own mind. Don’t be afraid to say ‘hello’ to the people you see, and likewise, don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ to anyone who makes you uncomfortable.

Now go and get some nasi goreng in your face.

Words by Zoë Radas (@zozorad)