Australia’s Big Things and what they mean to you
The seven wonders of the ancient world were, frankly, a load of shit compared to the big things that we’ve made right here under the benevolent glow of the Southern Cross. The Colossus of Rhodes was way smaller than the MCG and I reckon Crown Casino is way taller than the Pyramids. What does that tell you? That Australia is the best at everything. That’s what.
We love big beaches, big rocks, big cars and big Barrier Reefs. You don’t get to be the greatest cricketing nation of all time without thinking big and sledging bigger. You don’t get to have the world’s biggest knob as a PM without loving bigness, and you certainly don’t get to have the biggest number of public holidays without being a country of dead. set. legends.
It’s the big things that make Australia great, and it brings a tear to my eye to know that the good people of Nyngan, in Central NSW, are adding another big thing to make Aus even bigger, and even better – The Big Bogan.
Here’s a list of some of Australia’s biggest achievements, and what they mean to you.
The Big Bogan: On the banks of the Bogan River, sits Nyngan, a town of true Australian heroes who are putting up a Big Bogan to bring in the tourists. This Aussie icon is dressed in shorts, a flanny and holds a fishing rod. Makes the Statue of Liberty look pretty piss-weak if you ask me. This is a statue that stands for not giving a toss about what you look like, which I reckon is way more like liberty than being trapped on an island.
The Big Banana: Heaps of countries have bananas but Australia has the biggest banana of all. Our banana is so big it puts all the other bananas of the world to shame. You may not believe it, but Australia didn’t even invent the banana, somewhere foreign did, but that doesn’t matter because we’re the ones who worked out how to make it big. Really big. Head up to the glorious sea-side town of Coffs Harbour to see what it means to be the best country on earth.
The Big Prawn: The citizens of Ballina, in northern NSW, are the salt of the sea and host to the world’s biggest prawn. The Big Prawn stands for barbeques, Christmas and prawns, which are three of the most Australian things ever.
The Big Boxing Crocodile: Crocodiles should be added to our coat of arms and I reckon it’s just the faceless suits in Canberra who’ve stopped it from getting on there. What’s tougher than a croc that can punch you? Nothing. Head to Humpty Doo up the glorious Top-End to say G’day.
The Giant Murray Cod: The Murray Cod is already pretty big, but the battlers of Swan Hill in Victoria have gone one better and made it bloody giant. Fitting, because the Murray is definitely the biggest and best river on the planet. Anyone who says otherwise hates Australia. If fish had a cricket team, the Murray Cod would be Ricky Ponting.
The Big Merino: Once a jolly jumbuck camped by a billabong, under the shade of the Coolabah tree, in Goulburn. You’ll go-a-waltzing when this proud beast knocks your footy socks clean off with the sight of its magnificent coat.
Aus has so many big things, it is literally impossible to write them all down. One bloke started back after we won the America’s cup, and he’s still going, what a champion.
Words by Simon Toppin
