Whether you admit it or not, Bali is one of the most important parts of Australian culture.
Taking one trip is a rite of passage, but taking two trips is just…wrong.
Earlier this year we saw TV’s first family, the Kardashians, take their first-ever trip to Bali. Basic bitches every where went wild, as they felt that if Kim could eat at Sisterfields, Kourtney could party at Finns and Kylie could take Ubud, then maybe they weren’t as basic as they thought.
However, they were soon disappointed once they saw the private jet, $40k resort, and pretty much the fact that they weren’t…in Seminyak.
Let’s say the Kardashians did decide to do Denpasar however, we can’t help but wonder how that would go. ?
So it was pretty much necessary for us to create a bogan’s trip to Bali as told by the Kardashians… obviously.
The time has come to book your third trip to Bali, despite your friends telling you to travel… anywhere else.
You fork out $1000 for flights, $900 for accom and $2000 for spending, AKA the equivalent of a two-week European getaway.
Time to grab your Myer One card and buy outfits!
You board your Jetstar flight only to discover that you’re seated next to a baby…
…who ends up crying the entire flight.
First stop? Acai from Kynd Community!
Woooow, you don’t see dingos like these in Aus!
You park yourself at Potato Head Beach Club for the evening, promising yourself a ‘chill night out.’
However, one drink leads to another, and before you know it you’re at Motel Mexicola 12 shots down.
You wake up in your bed the next day feeling hella hungover.
You dawdle your sick ass down to the monkey forest, in the hopes to show your followers that you didn’t travel all the way to another country just to go clubbing.
Lunch Time! You’re thinking…Warung Babi???
You make eye contact with a cute surfy guy across the room.
He invites you out to OMNIA that night, and you tell him you’ll ‘stop by’ if you’re free.
You end up going because you’re a thirsty bitch, so you order an Espresso Martini, sit at the bar, and look around for your mystery man.
However, one thing leads to another and you end up meeting a NEW guy, who you’re 90% sure is James Tedesco.
But the next day you find out he was just a chippie from WA.
You decide on Mrs Sippys for the day, because you’re trying to branch out.
…and all you do when you’re there is lay in the sun and drink.
You reflect on your past week of constant partying, eating, and tanning.
Time to head back home…back to your boring, basic life…
…but secretly, you’re already planning your return.
